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Valentine's Day
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If you hear someone sobbing in the ladies room, its just because I’m so happy for you and your new girlfriend this Valentine’s day.
You look like you don’t have any sexually transmitted diseases at all. Be my Valentine?
I’m just lonely enough to consider having sex with you tonight. Happy Valentine's Day.
You make me question my commitment to my wife. Be my Valentine?
That Valentine on your desk wasn’t actually for you.
I’m ovulating. Happy Valentine’s Day.
I bet your undies smell like roses and little baby kitten's paws. Happy Valentine’s Day!
They say chivalry is dead, but I’d happily go out of my way for you if it meant we could have sex without me having to call you again. Happy Valentine’s Day!
You are what I’ve always dreamed of—ever since I started therapy and learned to lower my standards considerably. Happy Valentine's Day!
If I didn’t know you, I’d be trying to sleep with you. Unfortunately I do. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Valentine's Day