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I Feel So Many Feelings About You
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You're a hot mess.
Your half chub is offensive to my delicate sensibilities.
Now that Muammar Gaddafi is dead, its still too soon to wear your fashion turban.
I might act on my feelings for your boyfriend by getting his face tattooed onto my face. I hope that’s not creepy for you.
I’m glad you’re old enough to have consensual sex with me.
Now that gay marriage is legal, I still don’t want to straight marry you.
I haven’t forgotten that you owe me money.
Tank tops are a PRIVILEGE not a right. This might be a good time to consider laser hair removal.
Since it’s that time of year when everyone gets married, I thought I'd let you know that I don’t think you’re going to die alone.
You’re giving off some serious crazy vibes right now.