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Happy Father’s Day! Oh, wait, let me back track—I’m pregnant and I think it’s yours.
Dad, my crippling Oedipal Complex keeps me from contacting you directly. Happy Father's Day! (I hope you enjoy having sex with mom tonight.)
Happy Father’s Day, from your favorite child. You know who this is from, right?
I hope your Father's Day is as good as my birthday that you forgot.
Dad, my favorite memories from childhood are the ones from when you were at work. Happy Father's Day!
Dad, the way you gently disapproved of my life choices all these years has really encouraged me to become the success I am today. Thanks! Happy Father's Day.
I always confuse Father's Day with National Chocolate Pudding Day, so don't be alarmed if a 15 pound tub of chocolate pudding arrives at your door. Happy Father's Day!
Dad, I want you to know how glad I am that you had sex with mom all those years ago. Happy Father's Day!
as awkward does.