Consequently, I think this video was narrated by Romy,  from "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion."




IT PAYS FOR ITSELF. via Colossal. Designed by Kest Schwartzman of Vagabond Jewelry.



Making resolutions is hard. I can’t actually commit to following through on any of this, but here’s a list of things I will definitely try not to do in the coming year:


Pick my feet and then touch my computer.

Force everyone to listen to that Jordin Sparks/ Chris Brown song at parties because its actually so good and powerful even if it is in poor taste.


Get drunk/be sober and tell men I’m trying to sleep with about my gastro-intestinal problems. 


Give in to the urge to become a total shut in and wear maxi-dresses and go tanning all the time and eat the dog food the state has already sent me to feed my service dog. what?


Believe every man I meet is the future ex Mr. Juliette Cohen and, therefore, give myself carte blanche to be really open about all of my gastro-intestinal problems because they’re going to love me for me. Shits n'all. Right?



Actually return my netflix in a timely manner so that I can get caught up on “Agatha Christie’s Marple.” (possibly the diamond in the ruff of internet TV. I'm serious. Why does nobody watch this?)


Try not to get a venereal disease—the older I get, the more I’m convinced that getting warts is an occupational inevitability.


Try not to start sentences with “The older I get…”


Be ashamed of the tard tingles I feel whilst listening to “What I Did For Love” from “A Chorus Line.” Its ok. We all have our things.


Buy two puppies and a kitten—I want this more than I want anything in the world. Its like staring into the sun. I don’t think I’m ready but maybe I need to read some Joseph Campbell and just deal with it.


Try not to make lists that are the emotional equivalent to a Cathy cartoon.