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- You're a real douchebag, but I miss you anyway.
- I'd like to get serious with you but I’m worried about having fat children.
- My birthday present to you is not contacting you personally. Have a great day.
- I’d like to go spelunking in your lady cave.
- The smell of farts wafting from your general direction has not gone unnoticed.
- You smell like cat pee a little bit.
- If you were to try and finger me in the break room, I wouldn’t report it to HR.